Friday, March 13, 2009


I'm consumed by the idea that the baby I've yet to conceive will be so much younger than my older two that it will feel eternally left out of the sibling circle. Mind you my two siblings and I are the spacing I was aiming for, and we are more like jagged points than a harmonious round, but that was the goal none the less.

Whenever I hear or read of a three+ child family I automatically seek out the birthdates (when possible) and do the math (which given my skill set takes an embarassingly long time) How old was the mom when the first was born? The fourth? Cate Blanchett's oldest is about 7 years younger than her baby, so is Natasha McElhone's. I wonder how that's working for them, as if having children similarly aged makes us potentially kindred spirits.

My not so secret solution to this problem is to have a fourth. We have no financial business having a third but 4 is such a nice number. Two sets of two, optimally another boy girl pair, disgustingly symmetrical. The big kids looking after the little ones, the family dynamics perfectly balanced.

I'll be 35 by the time our anniversary comes along in July. It'll be 4 months since I miscarried which seems to be sensible spacing to try again. The previous three attempts took in one fell swoop. If all goes well I'll tell the kids in October, I couldn't bear to put them thru another pregnancy loss.

I have no idea how I would survive another...


  1. If I were to have more than two children I think I would have to have them spread out. One of the nurses I work with just came from maternity leave for her 4th baby...all children are under 5 year of age. That just seems ridiculously labor intensive to have that many very small children in one household.

    Good luck in July...thinking happy baby thoughts!

  2. That is a lot on the body. My grandma, who had 7 kids in 11 years always teases that they have ways to prevent that now!

    Because I'm the optimistic sort I'm going to take this as an opportunity to exercise, eat right and take the prenatals I already bought.