Saturday, November 12, 2011

Leaving Well Enough Alone...

has never been my strong suit.

The PTA is in overdrive preparing for its annual Holiday Shoppe. This has been a year of great transition as the organization had a regime change. And due to the closed circuted way things are run, regime is an apt word.

We are fortunate to have very deep pockets and are in the process of ordering a holiday projector and snow machine that will bring the kiddos a little taste of winter, here in the Sunshine State.

The sticking point about the plan is the "holiday" content of the projector's show. As a public school Merry Christmas and angels are acceptable but need to be counter balanced by dreidels, a menorrah and the more generic doves and wreaths. Apparently there is no magical calculation but like pornography the principal will know it when she sees it.

As the atheist hiding in plain sight I'm debating whether or not I should out myself. To the best of my knowledge the rest of the PTA flock are practicing Christians so I really do appreciate the thought they are giving the matter.

I don't presume to speak for any of the atheistic families that might be enrolled (with the constant talk of being blessed and numerous scriptures attached to people's email signatures, I wonder if I'm the only godless creature roaming the halls) but the projector is not at all offensive to me.

But I choose to celebrate Christmas ( I never miss a birthday party) complete with tree and all the trimmings, so perhaps I'm not the best potential representative.

I'll see how things go as the debate continues but maybe for once I'll heed my husband's advice and manage to stay mum.

Monday, November 7, 2011

The Real Housewives of Sunset Beach

I'm sure there probably is a Sunset Beach in Florida but for the record it is not where I currently reside.

It's just the name of a soap opera that I never watched but whose title stuck with me. Speaking of soaps, I was met with blank stares when I tried to explain their cultural significance to the kiddos. I might have snagged their interest had I divulged that All My Children made 5 year old me feel tingly down below (direct quote, which I instantaneously regretted. Pre cable & VCR, banned from AMC,I was stuck with Chico & The Man) but I skipped that part of the way back time machine.

Life with the PTA, a basic cable franchise just waiting to be pitched, is nothing if not funny. All the stock character types are present:

Go Getter Mom-
fearless leader, former pagent director (suntan lotion not scholarship kind) lots of silicone and lots of smiles.

Woe is me Mom- always looks like she is on the verge of tears. Super sweet, very helpful and always putting her self down.

The Tri Athalete - self explanatory. But for color, had a conversation with her re: her 7 year old's lack of interest in outdoor life. Needless to say the Iron Lady was not pleased.

Law and Order Mom- again self explanatory.
Actually reads the minutes and always has her Roberts Rules & a copy of our by laws at the ready.

And last but not least... Wait for it...

Large & Sassy Black Mom - takes no nonsense and is forever baking something. Except for the Jesus talk I'm Shirley from Community!

Things are going well but I'm there for the cause not the people/social aspect of things.

As a result I'm not always in the loop regarding the after hours events.

In particular there was a cruise that I would have declined to go on- had I known it was happening. Initially I was quite upset about it, wondering if race was a factor...

But I really don't know if the cruise was organized before I came on the scene. And more importantly I do keep these women at arm's length. They have been very welcoming but this town is pretty conservative. I'm sure our PTA is largely republican with a few tea partiers sprinkled on top.Which make the complaints about school budget cuts particularly ironic.

Its not a workplace but we are working together, so for me ignorance is bliss. At present 99% of my dealings with the other moms (and at this school it is definitely mom, dads are pretty present but all the heavy PTA lifting is done by women) are during an official capacity, meeting events, etc. The last thing I need is to find myself listening to the virtues of Michelle Bachman from some broad who I need to help run the book fair.

And just when you thought it couldn't get more titillating, next up Ice Rink Parents. Wherein our plucky protagonist debates calling Child Welfare on a biweekly basis.